Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize