i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
