For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
