so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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