i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize