get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So apparently I’m into choking now
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