Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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