i just had sex bonerless
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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