so explain again why im purple
no
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
