You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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