worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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