I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
