so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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