we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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