From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize