Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
