I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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