Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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