You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
