That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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