So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
