so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
