do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
