You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize