He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
