After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
