Where is the hickey?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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