I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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