What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
