I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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