Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
