apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
