Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
