guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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