Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
