I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
