Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
