real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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