i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
PANTIES FOUND
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