...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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