It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
