you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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