You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
