i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
only you would photoshop your dick
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize