I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
