Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
barbara walters just said penis...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
