As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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