so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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