he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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