will power is for people who don't want to get laid
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
