the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize