Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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