were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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