Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
